The only time you see gray-haired people like me on television is in commercials that only run during the evening news. You'll see an athletic gray-haired guy and his athletic wife running down a beach, playing tennis and dancing on the deck of a cruise ship while a serious, disembodied voice intones, "You'll know when it's time for Splondocaine."
The voice never tells you what Splondocaine does, o…