UFOs at my house are Unidentified Fridge Objects

UFOs at my house are Unidentified Fridge Objects
UFOs at my house are Unidentified Fridge Objects

I was looking for some celery in the vegetable drawer. What I found looked like a dead green octopus. There were other things in there that used to be vegetables, but were now composting at an alarming rate. Is cauliflower better-tasting when it's brown? Are carrots supposed to be as soft to the touch as raw hot dogs? And how can you tell if broccoli has gone bad? It seems to taste the same.

Why am…