There is no actual shame in being a dog

This just in: Your dog doesn’t feel even a little bit guilty for jumping up on the counter and scarfing down an entire baked chicken. He’s just afraid because you’re yelling at him.

The same applies when he’s torn up an expensive new pair of shoes or pooped on an Oriental carpet.

Dogs don’t really have what human beings would call a conscience. If you leave a baked chicken where they can get it, the…